I saw someone talk about this concept on tumblr a while ago and it really resonated with me. I find myself being too apologetic at times. I say sorry too often and it evokes insecurity. This is not to say “act recklessly and without remorse”!!! But just catch yourself when you think you’re being overly apologetic and try to differentiate between times when an apology is needed and when you’re better off with a confident and appreciative “thank you” instead. One way to tell the difference is if they are going out of their way to do a favor for you. It’s important to recognize their kindness instead of seeing yourself as a burden.
Examples:
- Someone holds the door for you from far away and you have to speed up your pace to get the door. Instead of apologizing for slowing them down, simply thank them.
- You drop something and someone helps you pick them up. Don’t apologize for the mess, unless of course, those items belong to them, instead thank them for helping you clean.
- You rant to a close friend about emotional problems you’re having. If you’re friends then that means they care about you and a good friend should be a good listener and helping hand. Thank them for their support instead of calling yourself a burden.
- One example of when you shouldn’t apologize (but not necessarily owe a thank you either) is if you don’t look your best in an everyday scenario. If a guest comes over for a casual hangout and you don’t have makeup on, do not apologize, because that implies that your purpose is to be a pretty face, by society’s standards.
- And some examples of when you actually do owe an apology is tardiness (I don’t think thanking someone for their patience is appropriate because punctuality is important because it’s crucial to respect others’ time. So lateness does owe an apology!) , if you involve someone in an inconvenience (ex. back to the door example, if you don’t get the door for someone because your hands were full then you should apologize), etc.
justinerae23 